Thursday, May 27, 2010

heat and grace

The past two nights have been deathly hot.
It was 29 degrees on the main floor last night - I don't even want to think about how hot it was upstairs!
Both boys slept in their diapers. No jammies.

Both boys had trouble sleeping. At least when Noah woke up at 11:30 (?) last night and wanted to come downstairs and play I was able to appease him with his water bottle - which he wanted to sleep with and of course I let him because why wouldn't I? (I held my breath as I shut the door to his room and walked away. Praise the Lord, he went back to sleep!)

It's been hot, but it's funny how you do adapt to it. At first I was grumpy our a/c wasn't working. I was reminded by my dear husband that if we lived in a hot, third world country we wouldn't have a/c there either. True, true, my dear. (But I was still hot.)

But after a few days of scorchers, I'm still hot, but it's just what it is now.

The a/c will be fixed eventually and we'll have the luxury of being cool inside while it is HOT outside. This is grace, I think.

For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.
James 1:11

Quinoa Salad

This is easy peasy and oh-so fresh and delicious. It's a great {and versatile} summer salad and I REALLY love the taste of quinoa (pronounced "Kin-wah" not "Qwi-noh-ah" like I was calling it for months!). It's slightly nutty and apparently a source of protein. Who knew?

1 cup quinoa

2 cups water
1 zucchini, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1+2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp fresh parsley

Rinse quinoa by running water over grains in a pot. Drain and add two cups of water and some salt to the pot.
Bring the water to boil. Simmer until water is absorbed (about 10-15 min).
In a frying pan, heat 1 tbsp olive oil. Add chopped bell pepper and saute for 5 min on medium-high heat. Add chopped zucchini, season with salt and pepper, and saute for 5 more min. Mix them with quinoa.
Add olive oil, lemon juice and parsley. Mix well and season with salt and pepper.
Taste and adjust the lemon juice and seasoning.

**can be served/eaten hot/warm or cold. I think it's delicious no matter how you eat it.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Purging Post One

Today was the day that I started what will forever be known as:

The Great Purge of 2010

That's right, folks. I'm purging. And it feels oh-so-good!

How is it that in a mere two and a half years we have accumulated so much STUFF related to kids and babies? It's overwhelming and almost sickening. Please don't get me wrong, I am thankful for all that God's provided through family and friends. But it's to the point where the level of toys in our house is excessive. It's taking over every room (yes, even the bathrooms!) like some sort of mutating toy monster. And the clothes (curse you tiny baby socks!)! Every single male in this household has come into the habit of taking off their socks and leaving them lying about. Not to mention the bibs, pajamas and dirty pants that are sitting on the stairs awaiting the journey upstairs to the laundry basket.
So what better place to start than with the toys that have taken over my house? (I can't think of any.)

So during Noah's nap today I grabbed a garbage bag and got rid of all the toys that fit the following criteria:
1. stuffed animals that don't get played with or are just too big for my liking
2. toys I don't like (generally loud, big, plastic toys)
3. cheap, crappy toys
4. all the McDonald's toys (or similar toys) we've accumulated
5. toys that are missing pieces or pieces of toys that don't belong to anything
6. toys that don't get played with (even if I like them)

I threw out a bunch of toys but some of them are sitting in the garage as I'll likely sort through them and offer them to other families who may like them or sell them in a garage sale or on Kijiji.

I'm going to keep at it and considerably pare down clothing and toys that belong to the boys. It's all just too much. And our house is bursting at the seams!
Less is definitely more.
More room. More appreciation for what we own. More enjoyment in the simple things. More quality. (Less quantity.)
Stay tuned for continued purging posts...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Sweetness

Sweet moments that redeem all the crabby ones:

Noah playing "peekaboo" with Jude while in their carseats and making Jude laugh.

Hearing Noah call Jude "Sweetie pie", "Mr. Judeling", "Baby" and "Judester".

Noah getting Jude a toy to play with when he's crying ("Here Jude. Here you go. It's okay baby.")

Seeing the excitement on both boys' faces when they first see each other in the morning (they're still in separate rooms...for a little bit longer me thinks).

Watching Noah finally (and joyfully) share his beloved cars with Jude (after having snatched them away repeatedly).

Sometimes you just gotta focus on the sweet moments instead of the sour.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Gettin' LOST

I'm watching the LOST series finale tonight.

I'm really excited.

Kinda sad.

It's bittersweet, really.

And I can't wait!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

motivation proclamation

This was my first week of training for a 10km race.

Remember this post? And remember how I linked to a 10km race at the Toronto Zoo?

Well, I'm doing it! I'm registered and I'm training (even though it's months away) and I'm SO excited!

So this week was the first of a 10 week training to run a 10km race. It's 5 days on, 2 days off (Friday and Sunday). So I ran 30 minutes on Monday and Wednesday and then did strength training and walking/elliptical on Tuesday and Thurdsay. Saturdays are the longer run and today was supposed to be a 40 minutes run.

So I mapped out my run for roughly 5km including a cool down since I don't have a sports watch. I figured it would take me about 40 minutes to do that.

But I got lost. I realized I had pretty much double backed which frustrated me because I actually wanted to try and do the 40 minute run and not do any less.
So I started running on every crescent I passed in order to cover more ground before getting back home.
As I turned onto my street I slowed to a walk and then did a bit of stretching on my drive way.
I got in and saw that I had ran for about 40-45 minutes.
Then I sat down and mapped out how far I actually ran.

I ran 5.5km!!!! And I could have kept going but I didn't want to get too far away and then have to walk all the way back. I am on such a high! It felt SO good as I was running and I feel so good right now!
It was really the first 3km that killed me but then after that my body got into a rhythm and I just ran.
I feel really encouraged and motivated and proud of myself.
It's been awhile since I could say I felt really proud of something that I accomplished.

*jumps for joy*

Thursday, May 20, 2010

a lovely day

It was a lovely day.

Even though Jamie was gone from 9am-9pm we (the boys and I) managed to make the most of it.

Jude woke up at 9 so I got us all dressed and fed and we were out the door on a walk to Starbucks.

But I meandered on the way. Well, I power-walked the l o o o o o o o o n g way to get there.
We walked through the forest and I pushed that double stroller up and down hills in the gorgeous sunshine (it got up to 28 degrees today!).

We got to Starbucks and I ordered 2 mini cherry scones. One for me, and one for Noah.

We sat in the back on the leather couch. Noah munched on his scone and I on mine. Jude enjoyed some Mum Mums. The boys were happy and quiet.

It was wonderful.

Then we walked back home but stopped at a park for 20 minutes to swing on the swings and slide down the slides.

We got home and it was lunch time!


Then naps.

I lay down and Jude woke up (curse you mid-nap poops!) and then Noah woke up shortly after.

We spent some time outside blowing bubbles and running around in our bare feet.

Sure, we had cheese and crackers for lunch and toast with peanut butter for dinner. But we survived. Actually, we did more than just survive. We had fun.
The house is still a mess. The laundry is still sitting in the washing machine (I just remembered this - dang). The kitchen floor is nearing disgusting levels. And don't get me started on the mass amounts of clothes in my room that need to be put away. *sigh*
But I'm going to go upstairs and have a refreshing shower and then read my book (the memoir of a midwife) feeling content with how I spent my day.

(Except the laundry. I'll probably finish that before going to bed.)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Elbow pop

Today Noah's elbow popped out for the third time in his short 2.5 years.

I knew right away that's what had happened because he was holding his arm and refusing to move it and any time it shifted in the slightest he winced and whimpered. I gave him some Tylenol and since it happened (I don't even know how it happened this time as I was upstairs, Jamie was downstairs with him and had just turned around to get something when it happened - we still don't know!) right before nap time I just sat and talked with him quietly and then eventually he had a nap. He woke up crying and wouldn't move it again so I texted Jamie to tell him one of us needed to take Noah to emerg. I even called our doctor's office to see if we could go there since I hate going to emerg, but they didn't have any appointment available for today. I couldn't wait until tomorrow - especially with Noah in the condition he was so off I went to the hospital with Noah.
And what does he do the second we pull INTO the hospital parking lot (that you have to pay $6 to get out of!)? He lifts his hurt arm to point at the hospital.
Oh well. So we go in and he starts using his arm to reach for something or to put a snack in his mouth.
Anyway, it was only 1.5 hrs from start to finish so I can't complain, really. By the time we saw the doctor Noah was using his arm again so I'm guessing at some point along the way it popped back in on its own or at least did partially as the doctor said he felt a small pop.
And I did make sure to get the doctor to show me how to pop it back in on my own so we could avoid coming in next time.
Anyway, so all is back to normal and unfortunately according to this doctor there aren't any strengthening exercises we can do. It's just something he's supposed to grow out of. I certainly hope so!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Bed Update 4.0

The last few nights have been okay.
Noah didn't fall out of bed last night, but he did wake briefly at 1am so I went in and calmed him down from whatever woke him up. (I don't even remember now - I think he went right back to sleep basically.)
But tonight he fell out at about the same time as he did the first night. I picked him up and he just lay on my shoulder. I put him back into bed and he was all quiet - didn't say a word, just sighted and then I could hear him breathing as I covered him with his blankets. Not sure if he was still half asleep or what, but hopefully he falls right back to sleep for the rest of the night.
I wonder if around 11:30 is when his sleep goes from restless to deep night sleep so while he's moving about and stirring is when he ends up falling out of the bed. Interesting. Perhaps I'll go in around 11 and check on him and make sure he's fully in his bed - if I remember.

Oh and naps have been fine. He goes down okay (although I have been hearing him talk and sing away to himself for about 15 or 20 minutes) and sleeps fine. The last couple days have been shorter naps, but his naps always vary depending on the day. Anywhere from about an hour to almost 2 hours - it really just depends on the day.

Swagger Wagon

I couldn't resist. Especially after writing about fearing the move to a minivan some day.


We're in big trouble

I just have this feeling that we are in for it (whatever "it" is - probably trouble, mischief, having our hands full...all of the above I think...) as Jude continues to become mobile and learn to walk and climb and run.
Tonight as I was changing Jude's diaper as soon as I took his diaper off he whipped over onto his belly and he was OFF. Laughing and giggling and crawling away from me! I was so shocked and of course played right into it saying "Hey! Get back here, you!" and laughing and "chasing" him.
He LOVED it.

I loved it.

And of course he continued to crawl away from me after I had finished changing and dressing him.
I guess it's time to get the gate up!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Bed Update 3.0

Tonight was night two of Noah sleeping in a bed.

He fell out.

I heard a *thump* in the middle of the Survivor Reunion show (my life = exciting!) and immediately I ran upstairs to find Noah sitting on his bum beside his bed. He was a bit shaken up, but calmed quickly in my arms. When I asked him if anywhere hurt he said "yes." and then when I asked him where it hurt he said, "Ummmmmm" which means there wasn't anywhere specifically that hurt. Funny boy. So we put him back to bed and left.

But then about 30 minutes later I heard "Mama. Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." quietly coming from his room. So I went up and of course he was all about coming downstairs and playing with his toys and was getting quite upset when I told him it was nighttime, time for bed and that we could play with his toys tomorrow.


Then he said, "I wanna cuddle."

*my heart*

So of course I cuddled up with him on the bed (I couldn't do this with him in his crib!) for a few minutes and then kissed his head and came back downstairs.

He's still talking from his room and wanting to go in "Mommy & Daddy's bed" but I'm hoping he stays put and falls asleep sooner rather than later.

Bed Update 2.0

He did it! He slept all the way through the night on the first try!

I did go in before I went to bed to check on him and found him out cold right against the edge of the bed.

He didn't wake up until 7:30 this morning and then I heard him calling for me. As soon as I stepped in, he hopped right off the bed with a big smile on his face.

So cute.

One night down...the rest of his life to go.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Bed Update 1.0

It didn't take me long to put together Noah's bed this morning.

And now he's taking a nap in it.

He got into his bed without any fuss or complaint and stayed there and it's been about an hour so far. So I'm pretty happy about the first nap going so well. We'll see how tonight goes.
I hear that it takes a couple weeks for some kids to "get it". As in, that's when they realize that they can actually get OUT of their bed and that is when the trouble starts.

But we'll just take it one day at a time and see how it all pans out.

Here's Noah sporting some attitude beside his new bed:

Friday, May 14, 2010

some food for thought...

We're going to do it.

The big move.

The major transition.

Alright, so we're just moving Noah from a crib to a bed, but it kinda, sorta feels as though it's a really big deal. And it probably will be. To him. (And me...)

So I started thinking through the transition like I do all things - I googled it.

Specifically "transitioning from a crib to a bed". Every single site I clicked on and article I read cited one of the signs your child is ready is that they are climbing out of the crib.

*small rant coming. You are warned.

Why is this a sign of being ready for a bed? For MORE freedom? So basically we reward the inability to respect boundaries with MORE freedom? Perhaps at first glance this seems like the perfect sign that your child is ready for a bed. He/she is getting older, more co-ordinated, able to climb and get out and about. But upon closer inspection, perhaps it's not the wisest thing to do.

It wasn't until I was talking with my friend who is a few years ahead of me in the child-rearing business (which by the way, every Mom should have a friend who is a couple years ahead of them to give them tips, warnings, and just to see what's coming up!) and this subject came up that I started thinking this whole thing through. It struck me after our conversation that if it's the fear of your child getting hurt by falling out of the crib that is motivating you, why aren't we treating it like a hot stove or a busy street?
This is something that is dangerous and you need to obey me when I say STAY.
And then either discipline or natural consequences occur when the parent is NOT obeyed.
On the other hand, I think it's a sure thing that children (all children) get to an age (some earlier, some later....some MUCH later) where they test. They test boundaries. They test rules. They test EVERYTHING. It's how they learn. And our job as parents is to be consistent and to show them and tell them where the boundaries are. What the rules are.
Of course it's not our only job (we need to laugh and smile and love and create and enjoy and give and plant gardens and explore nature and run and make up games and talk in silly voices, too) but it IS a part of what it means to be a parent.
So my main beef is that just because your child can climb out of a crib does NOT mean they are ready for a bed. They definitely could be ready, but perhaps if they learned to stay in the crib, they might just stay in their bed at 3am when they just feel like getting up and coming to see you. I don't know. I'm not there yet. Maybe I've got it all wrong and this transition to a bed is going to go horribly wrong.
And I also don't mean to come off as this strict "YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR BED BY YOURSELF EVER. UNTIL YOU ARE 16 YEARS OLD." kind of parent. I've learned to "never say never" as a parent. I've learned that there are always exceptions to the rule. And not to worry if you have to bend or change a rule on occasion.
But ground rules are good. And important.
So if you moved your kid from a crib to a bed because they were climbing out, well, I hope it worked out! I'm sure it did. I mean, you don't see 16 year olds bugging their Mom at 2am because they want to play with their Legos or at 5:30am because they're ready to eat Lucky Charms (in fact, you'd be hard pressed to find ANY 16 year old who wants to get up and start their day at 5:30am!).
I guess I'm just stirring the pot a bit, questioning why every single website says the same thing when it just strikes me as not quite the best reasoning and generally wondering aloud in this big 'ole blogosphere. No judgement...merely bringing something to light and hopefully someone else will "get me".
Wish us luck! We're going to build the bed tomorrow and maybe a nap will happen - I don't really have a game plan, I'm just going to play it by ear and see how it goes. Pictures will be taken, perhaps some video and an update will most definitely be in the works.
You know me...I always need a challenge.

Moving on up!

And here's the proof:

That's right, folks. I've got a crawler (scooter? hopper?) on my hands! Let the fun (chaos) begin!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

the process

The weaning process has begun.

In earnest. (I just wanted to write "in earnest".)

Today I decided to give Jude formula this afternoon instead of the boob.

I had to go and buy formula first. And a sippy cup (the one that worked well with Noah was this one. We have another one that is good as well, but I find at this point the liquid just comes out too fast for Jude. We'll keep it around and use it in a couple weeks when he's got the hang of things.)

I wasn't too sure if he'd take it or not. He refused a couple times with a snarly look on his face and then

he took it!

And he gulped

and gulped

and gulped some more. And then he let out a huge belch. He didn't quite finish the entire thing (about 120 mls) but he drank most of it I'd say. I am pleased.

This picture just makes me laugh because of Jude's legs.

So I am feeling quite free with my afternoons now that I don't have to get back anywhere to nurse my baby. (And this means I'll probably be welcoming my least favourite relative - Aunt Flo - back into my life sometime soonish. Sigh. Oh well. Did I just write about Aunt Flo on my blog? Honestly. I need to stop blogging after 10pm.)

And that's that.

Helicopter Parenting

Wow. I just watched a documentary on talking about Hyper Parents - or the infamous "Helicopter Parents".
One quote (among many) struck me as so harsh, but so true!

"Children have become almost like projects. Parenting has become a cross between a competitive sport and product development."

I can see how hyper parenting is born of the natural instinct to protect and provide for your kids - but this is just NUTS. I'm more of the mind to let kids be kids. Education can't make you happy. Being "gifted" doesn't mean you are a kind and compassionate person. Looking out for others and giving to those in need does not come from taking a bazillion extracurricular activities. Some things are not bought and can't be found in a private school.

Now I'm definitely not bashing private school educations or giving your kids opportunities to excel, but there's a point at which you start heaping up expectations for success UPON your child, rather than holding out opportunities for your kids to grab hold of and own for themselves.

I was starting to doubt myself for letting Noah play in our backyard by himself. It's fully fenced and he can't reach the lock on the gate. Yet I was letting myself feel like a neglectful parent after talking to several other parents and feeling their surprise when I told them what I did.
He's 2.5 years old. Is that really too young to play by yourself outside? It's not like I'm letting him run up and down our street unattended. And I am always keeping an ear out for him and looking outside every now and then. It's not like I'm taking a nap inside or anything. It's also not usually longer than 30 minutes or so.
I'm not sure.

This has also caused me to start thinking about my choices in schools for Noah (I know. He's ONLY 2.5 years!). If he goes to J/K (which he likely will) in September 2011 Jamie and I were trying to decide if he'd go to the school in our area which we can walk to in about 15ish minutes or whether I'd drive him about 10-15 minutes to the French Immersion school.
I really liked the idea of going to the school that's within walking distance. I think it's a really good thing to walk to school. I grew up within walking distance of my school and I think it would foster good community for Noah as his friends would live close by as well as for me and the other mothers (plus I just heard from a Mom who sends her kids there that it's a fantastic school although with another school being built it will likely go through some staffing changes).
As for French Immersion, well there's no doubt that learning another language is a good thing and I have heard nothing but rave reviews for this school, the teachers as well as knowing that parents who enroll their kids in French immersion are likely to proactively be concerned about their kids' education.

Am I crazy?

I feel like after that last paragraph I'm bordering on crazy.


Anyway, all that to say is that after watching that documentary I'm leaning considerably to putting my kids in the local school within walking distance.

It definitely requires prayer but also a confidence that whichever school I put Noah and Jude in is the not the be-all end-all to their future happiness and quality of life.

What about you? Are you a hyper parent? PLEASE watch this documentary and seriously think about how you are teaching your child to be an independent, contributing person of society.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Non stop talking

Overheard from Noah:

"O is for Africa. P is for Oh-port (airport)."

"I'm a GREAT driver!" (said while playing with Lightning McQueen)

How do you do?
I'm fine!
Wanna crash?" (conversation between two of his cars)

"Happy Mother's Day, Mama!" (said to me today)

We had friends drop by briefly yesterday and near the end of their visit H said to me, "He talks so much now!"
It's almost non-stop sometimes.
But the gems that come out of his mouth crack me up and melt my heart.

**just now Noah asked me, "Where's your balls, babe?" Um...

(He was referring to the golf balls in the back yard.)

Monday, May 10, 2010

A good thing

It seems that most Mommy bloggers did a Mother's Day post.

Some involved flowers or gifts.

Most involved pictures of themselves with their kids.

They were all beautiful.

For Mothers Day I had my husband with me. The father to my children. I wouldn't be a Mother without him! I didn't think he'd be coming home (he was in South Africa) until today, but he surprised me with a return on Saturday evening instead! I was and am very, very thankful.

We went to church.
We came home.
I put together 2 pies and we piled back into the car and into Toronto.
I helped make lunch with my sister and Dad for our family.
We ate lunch and it was yummeriffic.
We all pitched in with money to go toward a bike for my Mom. I think she should get one of these.
I relaxed on the couch while Noah went for a walk with my Mom and sister.
We headed home before dinner so we could get the boys to bed at a decent hour (it had been a couple nights of late bedtimes and/or no naps for both boys!).

I'm not really big on things like Valentine's Day and Mother's Day - you know, the Hallmark holidays.
I remembered being in Africa for my first Mother's Day when Noah was about 7 months old. Mother's Day came and went and I barely noticed. It wasn't until one of the students we were with slipped a handmade mother's day card under our door that I remembered. And I didn't even care that it had come and gone.
I think what's GOOD about hallmark holidays is that they remind us to be thankful for the people in our lives and usually, it makes us more thankful for more than one day a year. And that is a good thing.

Friday, May 7, 2010

so tired I can't think of a title

It's been a good week, but I'm officially worn out.

Jamie's been gone since last Saturday afternoon and we miss him!

We're all sick now (boo) but it's not too bad (yet). Just runny noses and sneezing. And sore throats. And a bit of coughing. But it's not as bad as it sounds! Honest!

Today I wanted to sleep all day and practically did. I managed to nap during Jude's morning nap/Noah's blanket time and then again during their afternoon naps.

It's 9:15pm and I'm ready to call it a night.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Jude's 9 month letter

Jude, Jude, Jude...

My sweet Jude. You are 9 months old.

You are such a character, my boy. And such a people person. Smiling your big open-mouthed smile at whoever will look at you - and even those who AREN'T looking at you (which makes me want to tell them to look at you because you are so freakin' cute!).
Also, your smile is not so gummy anymore. That's right. We've got teeth, folks. Two on the bottom and your front top two teeth are coming to a mouth near you. Likely in the next month.
The up and coming teeth are causing some discomfort and general crankiness from you. Often this drives me a little crazy, but it'll soon be over.
Also, the teeth have caused some issues during breastfeeding. Yes. You BIT me, young man. And it hurt. And I hollered. And you cried. And then you didn't do it again. So I regret nothing.
Your sleep has gone down the drain lately. Actually just within the past week. The few weeks before you were sleeping completely through the night! It was heaven. And then it stopped. And I wanted to cry.
So after you woke up three times to nurse one night I called it quits. We're done* nursing at night. But it's good. Well, we're only on night 2 of this, but we'll see how it goes.
And oh! You are almost crawling! You can slide backwards and get up on all fours and rock out for a couple seconds, but then you deteriorate into a whining, crying ball of cuteness because you can't figure out how to move FORWARD. I predict you will be crawling within 2 weeks. And then we are in TROUBLE because you are curious and stubborn and single-minded in your determination to get what you want. And when you don't get it, plug your ears! You can holler with the best of them, kid.
And oh! You can sit up on your own now! As of...a few days ago. But actually today was the first time I walked in after a nap to see you sitting on your own. Well done, kiddo! I think you're pretty proud of yourself for this accomplishment.
You're also eating pretty much whatever we eat. And you're only 9 months! For some reason I get it my head that you are older than that...but you're not. And you're doing so well! You've eaten chicken, beef, fish, pork (as of tonight!), you still LOVE sweet potatoes and anything fruity. I don't give you pureed foods anymore (generally) as you can eat bits and bites of pretty much anything I give you.
You are a lip smacker of all lip smackers and it's HILARIOUS.

You've started taking baths with your brother and you LOVE to splash. It's definitely a wetter, messier business to bathe two boys than it is to bathe one! But you love it and you LOVE your brother.
It's really sweet to see you stare at Noah and give him "kisses" as you slobber all over him. Sure he grabs toys away from you, but you'll be able to defend yourself soon enough.
We all love you so much and I am so glad you're my baby...
kisses to you,

Sad story

So I think I might cry.

I think the robin has abandoned her nest (aka The Nest) and subsequently her eggs.

I haven't seen her in the last couple days.

Usually she'd fly in and out of The Nest as we would come and go from our front door.

Perhaps there was too much activity. Too many peering eyes and clicking cameras.

If I scared you away Mrs. Robin...I'm so sorry.

Please come back...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

hey sleep...where'd ya go?

I'm finally doing it. I am done nursing in the night. Done.
2 nights ago it was 1am, 3:30am and 5:45am - and then 8am. Do I have a newborn or a 9 month old?
Last night there was a wake up at 1:30, but it was short-lived and he fell back to sleep. Then a feeding at around 3am and then I can't even remember if there was a 5 or 6am one but then he was up around 7:45 for the day.
So yesterday I took Jude for his 9 month check up with the doctor and he is 21lbs! She said he doesn't need to be fed in the middle of the night which I agreed with and already knew. We talked about how with the second or subsequent child we do whatever it takes to either a) get back to sleep as fast as possible or b) not wake up the other child(ren). Hence the subsequent child(ren) don't usually sleep "through the night" as early as the first child with which we were single-minded in our quest to make sure we are teaching our child good sleep habits and sleeping through the night is the ultimate goal (as opposed to maintaining the peace at all costs).
So she said I can either just keep doing what I'm doing until I'm ready to let him cry a little.
And I'm ready.
I actually had a bit of an epiphany, though. I don't have to FULLY let him cry it out. What if I just go in and hold him for a couple minutes and then put him back down? What if?
So this was tested already (yeah, it's midnight and I'm still up. What's it to ya? I blog best late at night!) as Jude woke around ... 11 (?) tonight and so I let him cry. He stopped after a few minutes on and off (his typical style). I got ready for bed and heard him making noises as I got into bed at around 11:30. He cried. He stopped. He laughed (?). He cried. He stopped. Long pause. He cried again. Working himself up.
So I go in. He's on his belly. I pick him up, and rock him. He resists at first and tries to suck on my arm.
Haha...this is funny to me.
I do some soft "shushing" noises and keep rocking him slowly. He relaxes but stares up at me. The kid just doesn't fall asleep in my arms. Meh.
So he's calm but awake.
I put him down and give him his "bunny". He whimpers for a second and then the fingers go in the mouth and - dang. He's crying again. He would.
He WAS quiet and calm. But no longer.
So we'll see how tonight goes.
I think I'm going to need a large cup of coffee tomorrow morning.
Good thing I bought French Vanilla flavour.
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